The Sad Box

Our son has a “passionate” personality which, when combined with toddler-dom makes for some challenging parenting. Overall he’s sweet and loving, imaginative and athletic. However, when frustrated or denied his way can erupt like a volcano and takes that anger out on whatever he can reach. Toys get thrown, objects knocked off surfaces, a chair knocked over. We have tried different approaches to help curb that behavior but had been striking out which was frustrating not only for us but not helpful to him. The goal is to continually help him find appropriate outlets and coping strategies to carry him into adulthood.

After talking it over and praying about it we decided to reach out to a child specialist – it’s never wrong to ask someone for help and I’ve never regretted doing so in the past, this time was no different! She gave us lots of good tips that we were able to implement with Jacob and will probably be used with his sisters as well as they get a little older. I thought it was worth sharing some of what we learned for other parents with “passionate” toddlers as well.

One of the things that has been the most helpful is making a mad box which Jacob has named the “sad box”. This is a container filled with things he is allowed to take his frustrations out on, an appropriate outlet. There are lots of things that could be used and I’ll list what he chose with us to be added to it.

I have a ton of plastic baby wipes boxes and you can find them throughout our house for various uses and that’s what we used for his container.

Inside he has:

stress ball – we found a foam paw patrol Chase ball that he can squeeze or bang on the ground
whistle – this will make an obvious loud noise (instead of yelling or screaming) and also helps him take some big deep breaths which can be calming
junk mail – he can tear this up and crumple it
play dough in a sandwich bag – this can be squeezed, pounded on with his hand or foot or even against the floor
stress relieving essential oil roller – to make him feel in control and distract him

Other ideas include:

bubbles, harmonica, kazoo – to help with slow deep breathing patterns
a drum or bucket– something to bang on and make a satisfying noise
glitter jars – something calming to focus on
bubble wrap – popping and twisting it
pencils – can scribble on paper

There are so many great ideas for all different age groups. I was pleasantly surprised when doing a Pinterest search how many creative and easy ideas people had. This is good because then it can be tailored to what works best for the individual child – which can take some trial and error. We also already owned almost everything we used for the box so it was inexpensive to get going.

We keep the box within reach of him on the kitchen counter, where his sisters can’t get to it and it does take some reminding when he’s mad that he can get his box down. Hopefully over time it will be more instinctive to reach for that first. As he gets older the contents or focus for his frustration will have to be adjusted, but it has been very helpful for all of us!